Why Am I Still Single? | Unearthing The Treasures of Singleness
Part 2 of 9 - God You're Not Good Enough for Me
Here is where I will confess. For a time in my life, I knew very clearly that God was not good enough for me. In fact, I told God I’d much prefer a husband than Him. A part of my heart just cringes even as I write this, but it’s the truth. I am also here to tell you, God does not despise raw honesty. It’s not pretty, but it’s real, and God honours what is real.
My real turning point in this journey was when one day, I came to God with a prayer that sounded something like this, “I know people say You are enough and You should be enough for us, but You are not enough for me. In fact, I feel like I will never be complete until I have a husband. God, You are not good enough for me. You don’t fill me the way others say You should. But I want to believe that what the Bible says is true, and I want to know You as my everything, my all in all. Will You change my heart to see and to know You as enough and better than a husband? Lord, I am willing to let You change me.”
In praying that prayer, I discovered that He knows. He already knew my heart didn’t see Him as good enough. He knew the state of my heart before I even saw it myself. In hindsight, I think God was just waiting for me to come to that realisation myself and admit it to Him. Admitting to Him and confessing the true state of my heart, with repentance in desiring change and allowing Him to change me, created space for God to start the work of transformation in my heart.
And transform me He did. I remember one day waking up, brushing my teeth, getting ready for work and literally, physically, feeling like I was walking around wrapped in a cloud of cotton candy. His presence was so tangible and so, so sweet. The sweetness of His presence was so real I felt I could almost taste it. I drove to work and felt the permeating cotton candy cloud just continuing to wrap around me. The feeling followed me for days afterwards. I felt like I was in a hazy, dizzy cloud of His love. Then I remember saying something I never ever thought I would say.
I said, “God, if this is how good You really are, can You let me remain single a little longer? I want more of this.”
I could hardly believe the words coming out of my mouth, but that was what I found myself saying.
In those moments I had encountered Him for who He said He is - He is enough. But more than that, He is more than enough. He is overflowing!
That encounter was so significant, it has marked me since then. I know that after that day, something in me completely changed, and I experienced a side of God that I had never known before. The sweet presence of a Lover. The holy, overflowing love of Jesus. So sweet and so full. So all encompassing and so much more than enough. So beyond what I could ever ask for, hope for, or dream of. And the best part? All this is only a shadow of the love we will have when we are living in the presence of God in eternity. I mean, how amazing is that???
Friend, this is your treasure today. That for some of us, our season of singleness is meant to bring to the fore a desire that can only be filled by Jesus. Your season of singleness is meant to awaken the very desire that only God can fill. There is not another man, woman, or soul that can fill you the way Jesus can. If today, you are still looking for fulfilment in a relationship and in another person, can I encourage you to channel that longing to God?
It’s okay if you don’t feel He can make the cut. It’s fine. He knows. The greatness of our God is that He is pleased to prove Himself true time and time again, and if you truly desire to experience His love in such an all encompassing way, He will come for you. He will show you just how good He is.
If you have not yet experienced the God who is able to permeate your every being, your every longing, ask Him today to show you just how good He is. The best part is, He’s not even going to show up for you the way He did for me. He will show up for you in a way that is entirely unique to you, in a way that is meant only for you. He is the God who knows you, He is the God who created you. Of course your Creator would know exactly how to fill you! Allow Him today the space and the permission to be your all in all, to be your everything, to be your enough and more than enough. He so longs and desires to make it real for you.
It’s okay if He isn’t yet enough for you. He isn’t ashamed or angry at you for thinking that way. He knows, and He wants nothing more than to come and show you otherwise.
Not a single person or thing on earth can fill us so fully the way Jesus can. Even the best husband or wife on earth would fall short of what Jesus offers us. Your marriage is meant to bear the image of His love in a broken world, but it is not a substitute for the love God gives to us. It never will be. We play a part in bringing joy and blessing to each other’s lives, but we are not made to fill each other’s deepest needs and desires. That is a space that is reserved only for God.
As a single person, your treasure is to discover just how true, how good, and how fulfilling God is. That God is enough and more than enough is not just a good idea, or an alternative to the presence and fulfilment of a spouse. It is the real thing. Your marriage will be a reflection of God’s great love for you but it is not meant to define you or fill you in the same way.
Your treasure in the here and now, is to discover the great fulfilment and the great overflow He can bring to your life. Friend, He is enough and more than enough. Just ask Him. Tell Him what you really feel. Invite Him in. Give Him permission to shape you, and you will see Him change your heart and fill it in ways you never thought possible.
Questions for reflection:
1. Do you really believe that God is enough and more than enough for you?
2. Are there some longings that you think only a spouse can fulfill? For example, struggling with loneliness & companionship, wishing you had someone to encourage you or do ministry with, desiring intimacy & connection. Bring these longings to God and ask Him to fill these areas of your life with (1) His presence, and (2) the right people in community.
Let's pray
Lord, thank you that You promise to be everything we need. You are enough and more than enough. Today, we come to You honestly, with every longing and desire that is yet to be fulfilled. As we surrender these longings and desires to You, would You so fill us with Your presence? We surrender our hearts to You today. Show us how You truly are the treasure of our hearts. We give You permission today to shape our hearts according to Your will. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.